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20%
of High School and College Students Victims of Being Stalked:
What to Do If You're Stalked
by SixWise.com
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When
you think of someone being stalked, chances are that a celebrity
or other famous figure comes to mind. So it may surprise you
to learn that, according to recent studies, college and high
school campuses are prime targets for stalkers. That's right
-- some 20 percent of high school and college students, both
men and women, have been victims of stalkings.
Many
of the college and high school students don't reveal this
for various reasons to their parents, so if you have a child
who is or will be in this age-range, it can definitely pay
to discuss this with them. If you are a college or high school
student, read on for key strategies on what to do if you are
ever stalked.
Stalking is much more than being followed by a stranger --
it can even be, at the most extreme end, deadly. According
to one Department of Justice study, 10 percent of college-age
stalking victims had their stalker attempt or force sexual
contact, while the stalker threatened or attempted to hurt
the victim in 15 percent of cases.
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20 percent of high school and
college students say they've
been victimized by stalkers.
Read the tips below to find out
what to do if you're being stalked.
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Stalking
can include many unsettling behaviors like telephone harassment,
sending unwanted gifts, pursuing or surveillance. Stalkers
have various reasons for their behaviors, but there is often
an underlying psychological disorder or delusional motivation.
Researchers
have discerned five major types of stalkers, and it helps
to be aware of the characteristics:
The
Rejected
- Results
from broken relationships with friends, parents, coworkers,
lover
- Stalker
seeks reconciliation and/or revenge
- Stalker
often feels frustrated, angry, jealous and depressed
The
Intimacy Seeker
- Stalker
perceives victim as his/her true love and pursues an
intimate relationship
- Stalker
often has a delusional or other disorder including schizophrenia
or mania and may hold morbid infatuations
The
Incompetent
- Stalker
is often intellectually and socially incompetent
- Desires
intimacy with victim but lacks knowledge of courting
rituals
- May
have stalked others in the past
- Stalker
may believe they are entitled to the victim but don't
typically feel the victim is attracted to them in return
The
Resentful
- Stalker
wants to frighten or distress the victim
- Stalker
may feel an injustice has occurred against them and
seek revenge
The
Predatory
- Stalker
enjoys the control and power of stalking a victim
- Stalker
tries to learn about the victim and may mentally rehearse
a plan of attack
- Is
more likely than the other categories to have a history
of sexual offenses
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How
Common is Stalking, Really?
One
of the biggest myths of stalking is that it is something
that rarely happens, and if it does it happens to celebrities.
As such, most people do not take stalking seriously even
though it can result in serious crimes like rape and murder.
Yet
according to a study of 800 students, one out of five high
school and college students have been victims of stalkings.
Linda
Manning, director of the Margaret Cuninggim Women's Center
at Vanderbilt University, said, "As a general attitude,
I think people are amazed when they hear how frequent this
kind of situation is ... so we (as a society) deny that
it happens; we minimize its impact, and we sort of don't
want to know. And I think that's the way in which we don't
do a very good job of addressing this."
What
to Do if You Are Being Stalked
Being
stalked is a very frightening experience, and educating
yourself on what to do if you become a victim is your best
defense.
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Stalking victims need all the
added security they can get,
and the Los Angeles Police
Department says getting a dog
is one of the most effective
alarm systems out there.
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Orders
of protection issued by law enforcement, which legally prohibit
stalkers from contacting their victims, are the first step
victims should take, says
Valerie Wynn, executive director of a center for victims
of domestic and sexual violence in Nashville, Tenn.
According
to Wynn, "They do work in 80 percent of cases. They
stop the behavior and they keep the victim safe."
Contact
your local law enforcement department as a first step to
explain your situation and to find out how such an order
of protection can be issued.
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"I Know You Really Love Me" is a
must for anyone who is or has the
potential to be a victim of stalking. It
reads like a white-knuckle thriller but
"Can save your life, or the life of
someone you love," according to
one critic. Available at an
exceptional price now!
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I
Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Account of Stalking
and Obsessive Love lists other precautions that you can
take. Beyond the order of protection, here are other keys:
- Only
say "no" to the stalker once. Any further reactions
will reinforce the stalking.
- Get
a guard dog. According to the Los Angeles Police Department's
Threat Management Unit, this is "one of the least expensive
but most effective alarm systems."
- Never
give out your home address or telephone number, and block
them at the DMV and voter registration, where they are easily
accessible to anyone.
- Use
a post office box and put this number on your checks.
- Document
everything the stalker does in the event you decide to take
legal action (save gifts, phone messages, letters and keep
a record of attempts to contact you, etc.)
- Don't
accept packages that you haven't ordered.
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- Keep
a cell phone with you at all times, even when you are inside
your home.
- If
you think you're being followed, drive to the nearest police
station -- NEVER to your home or friend's home. Use your
horn and lights to attract attention if the situation seems
particularly urgent.
- Don't
keep it a secret -- tell those around you that you're being
stalked so they're on the lookout for suspicious people.
- Put
a locking gas cap, one that can only be unlocked from inside
the car, on your gas tank.
- Consider
moving to a new location (research how to keep your new
destination secret, first).
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